Things I’m Pretty Sure Of

If you’re a big guy wearing beats headphones and you choose the moment, the exact moment that I’m opening a cash drawer to put a wad of money into it, to demand that I help you buy a new phone… and when I tell you that I’m in the middle of helping a customer right now but I’ll get someone to help you and you proceed to tell me that you need help buying a phone…

I’m pretty sure that either you should take the freaking headphones off so you can hear what I’m saying OR there’s a reason why you chose that moment to stand way too close to me. So I’m pretty sure you should back off bub.

And I’m pretty sure that if you keep telling me all about all the ways that other people tried to help you connect to your home wifi while you weren’t home… that they really didn’t do anything and since your wifi works flawless on this network, I’m pretty sure that there’s nothing physically wrong with your device.

I’m also pretty darn sure that if you were asked to leave another store because it’s closing time, that it’s closing time in all the stores in the mall. Pretty darn sure. So you should go home and enjoy your evening. Thanks for stopping by! See you soon! Pretty sure!

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